Dreaming of you

I moved to Baguio on my 10th week. It was a bit difficult because I miss being with Rain, my boyfriend. He made my pregnancy easier to handle and the changes more manageable. We never stopped dreaming and preparing about our baby's arrival. All of sudden our lives are no longer centered about us but about another person - our baby. We stopped thinking about our own comforts but about what would make life comfortable for our baby, just like this temporary separation just so we can ensure that he'd be delivered safely and that I'd have all the support that I would need through out the pregnancy.

I was even surprised that Rain decided to get a house for us. It was a huge step which clearly showed the direction that we wanted to take the relationship. All of these changes begun when we learned about the baby. Somehow suddenly it was easier to make bold undertakings such as getting a house and deciding to be together and be a family possible.

Prior to the baby's coming, it was just a plan. A drawing etched in our minds which we knew would take more time to realize. We were taking our time in our journey and just savoring the moment but when the baby came, all of  sudden we knew that we cannot just have a laid back attitude about life anymore after all we are no longer just a dating couple but are soon to be parents.

So as the days passed and as we count the weeks of the baby's development, as we talk about the changes going on and how big the baby is growing in my tummy, we also never ceased to talk about how we'd raise our baby. We decided that we'd like the baby to first and foremost learn respect and obedience. We knew we wanted to raise a child who is fundamentally secured about who he or she is and with a firm understanding that we are there for him/her no matter what.

Our days would go on talking about these. As for me, I never stopped imagining how I'd  take care of the baby. I knew that I wanted to have the baby breastfed, I also wanted to prepare his own food when he starts eating, inherently, I knew I am willing to sacrifice my career just to ensure that he gets the care and the attention that he needs as he develops. I even imagined how I'd teach him to speak, read and write. It was an endless daydreaming for me since I got all the time in the world on my hands.

If I were not dreaming about our baby, I'd be busy browsing the Internet for baby related stuff - clothes, appliance, cribs, etc. The baby gave about a new born passion, excitement and enthusiasm in me. I never felt this way before.

Somehow the baby's coming brought about a change - the kind of change that you knew you'd like to have for a very long time. It also brought a different level of maturity. It's the kind of maturity and lets you do things you never knew you could. It makes you very much aware of the consequences of your action and you decide to do or not to do things not for your own sake but for another person, a person you have not even seen or interacted in ways we are used to. Having a baby is the best feeling or experience I had in my life and I am glad that it happened at a time when I was at an age which is ready for this change and with a man whom I know I would like to spend the rest of my life with.