What's on the Other Side?

There are just some realizations I made when I lost my baby boy. Life has been too short and I had been too stuck on being afraid to do the things that I wanted to do for a very long time.

Rejection is my biggest fear so I avoid circumstances that could potentially lead me to it. Thus I have avoided a lot of dreams I've had and just stayed on the safe side. I wanted to be a part of an international bank but was just too afraid to be rejected. I know that they have high standards and very stringent hiring process. So every time I pass by that bank, all I do is admire its facade. I never tried to drop my resume and just give it a shot. There's nothing to lose anyway. If I do not get hired, then I can just move on. Its easy. But it gets a little more complex when you get ego come into play. I am throwing all that ego away. I placed my resume for a post that I think suits me and throw all my cares to the wind.

I just thought that having what ifs in life is just too much to bear. I would like to be able to tell my children to run after their dreams; I won't be able to do that if I have feared chasing mine to start with.

So I am making first steps to each of the dreams I've had since I was young. Just get my foot on the door. If I get it, lucky me, if I don't at least I could tell my self that I did something to make it happen and had not just been to coward to even give it a shot.