When we lost Kalel, my first question was: What is going to happen now? Are we going to stick to our plan or are we going to revert to our lives before we had Kalel?
When we learned about the baby, Rain got a loan to get a house so that when the baby arrives, we'd have our own place and we could start our life as a family. This thrilled me. How I wanted to be with Rain and build a life and a family with him. Everything in me rejoiced to that idea. So when I lost the baby, my question revolved around the possibility of continuing with our plan or just leaving it behind.
Little did I know that Rain's worries were the same as mine. He told me that he was afraid that I would choose to go back to my old life and we'd have to step back in our relationship. Like me, he wanted for us to live our lives together and build our own family.
I felt glad that even without talking, our minds and our hearts are in the same page. We both wanted to live together even if we no longer have our baby. We also both think that it is the best for us so that we would have more time to learn and understand each other deeply, not to mention adjust to our idiosyncrasies.
I am excited for this new phase of my life. I know that this phase would not be a walk in the park. I know that there would be challenges as we go along but I also know that for as long as I have Rain is with me and we love each other, it would be worth the effort.