It has been quite a time since I last wrote anything.
So just to update... I went back to Manila to get a job two months after I lost Kalel. Finding a new job is always a mix of emotions. I was unsure if I was still as marketable as I was when I last did a job hunt. There was also a sudden feeling of helplessness that I had to depend on somebody for the things that I was doing before I lost my job. I did not need to ask anyone for money for example and having to ask money again was a little bit uncomfortable.
Job interviews are also a fanfare. I went to this interview where I felt intimidated by the HR personnel's very strong and aggressive personality. I would have admired this quirk in her personality had I not been the person she's grilling in an interview. It was an experience in itself. But I had to turn that job down because I did not like the idea of being a second choice, an alternative. I did not qualify for the campaign I applied for so she's putting me to a different campaign.
There was this another job interview that made me wait for several hours, which to me was a total disrespect of my time as an applicant. I hate it when people think that you will go through hoops just because you are looking for a job, that you are at their mercy. They can make you wait for an eternity before they interview you only to be disappointed by the utter lack of skills of the person who is interviewing you. Needless to say, I did not pursue my application here.
I also went to an interview where you feel that you are impressing the person whom you are speaking with and that they have totally bought you only to find out it's the other way around. In an interview, you always do not know if that positive feeling you have will end up in a job offer.
Then finally, I learned that one should not judge quickly. I dropped by for an interview in a posh office building. When I arrived to the designated floor, I felt lost because in most firms I have been, they normally occupy the whole floor. This one was just a small room, with around 20 work stations and no receiving area. I was interviewed by what I think were representatives of the campaign, probably their most tenured ones if not their top guns. I knew I owned them the moment I spoke to them. But at the back of my mind I was already thinking about how much would they compensate me given that they have a small operation. Let's just say I was pleasantly surprised when I signed my contract.
If there's anything I learned in this adventure, when you find yourself in a position where you have the power to start over, to select the door that would define the new you, you always need to know what you want not only in terms of career or professional growth but life in general. The job I took is a step down from what I used to have in terms of rank and of salary grade. It does not even promise a possible promotion. Yet what made me decide to pick this is simple, I know that my end goal is to focus on my new family. I want to be there for Rain. I want to have time for him and be available to him. I do not like to be the partner who just gives my contribution to our budget but is always too stressed and tired to even carry a conversation.
I want to focus on being a wife to him. I want to be able to be more successful in that area than in climbing my glass ceiling. After all being a wife and hopefully a mother is not only a career but a devotion.